What You See is What You Get….Sometimes!

I was looking at our kitchen the other day.  It certainly won’t make it in to a magazine anytime soon!  There are no stainless steel appliances, no dishwasher, the oven is at least 25 years old.  The cabinets have mismatched paint and the linoleum has seen better days.  The can opener, toaster, and microwave all came from a thrift store.

Here is the sight I saw when I got up this morning.  My wonderful husband, Michael, cooking breakfast with our children!

From a just a photo, others could never see the things that I see.  Our kitchen is the hub of our home.  Literally!  The dining room turned schoolroom and bedroom spoke off to the left.  The living room off to the right.  Our one bathroom is here off the kitchen.  Yes, you heard right!  One bathroom for nine people, but we make do!  The stairs going up to where four of the children sleep are located in the kitchen.  And off the back of the kitchen is the laundry area and another bedroom.  Yes, it’s a small house!

But I love our kitchen!  It’s where we've had friends over, celebrated birthdays, played games, done schoolwork, and Michael and I can talk over a cup of coffee.  My kids “bond” as they share the chore of washing dishes, and I have begun teaching Kara how to cook.  On one wall is the bench that Michael made so that our growing family could all fit around the table and share our meals together.  My grandmother's paintings hang on the walls.  I wouldn't trade this for anything!

So just remember, "what you see is what you get" may require looking beneath the surface just a bit.  No dishwasher means that we spend time doing that chore together.  I don't worry about new appliances needing to stay polished and looking like new.  We may not have a lot of things in the way of modern conveniences....or maybe up-to-date ones anyway..., but what we've gained is so much more!  

Handmaiden in Bloom

Funny how you can wonder for a week what to write about, and then, all of a sudden,  it's right in front of you just waiting to be expressed.  That's what happened three days ago when my seven year old daughter, Kara, asked if she could get her sewing machine out.  She wanted to make a dress for her three year old sister, Charlotte.  It had been awhile since I had let her use it.  We had had an "incident" last time that made me put it away for a bit.

But Kara turned seven at Thanksgiving and is suddenly growing up before my eyes.  So I let her go through my fabric, and she got out the measuring tape.  Charlotte was loving the attention and stood still and turned when told to so she could be "measured".  Then Kara began making her own pattern from paper and cut out the bright green seersucker with purple butterflies all over it.

It was all I could do not to make a little suggestion here and there.  But I bit my tongue and just went about what I was doing and answering questions whenever Kara asked.   Finally it was time to thread the machine, which I did, and Kara sat down to sew.  You know, for what she did, it didn't come out half bad!  "Kara Couture" to be sure, and not something Charlotte will be wearing to church anytime soon!  But Kara couldn't be prouder of what she had made...all by herself!  And Charlotte was a happy three old with a new dress to wear!

Kara with her youngest sister, Mary, three and half months.

But something else happened.  The next thing I know, Kara is bouncing her twenty month old sister, Clare, on her hip, changing her diaper, feeding her, etc.  Sweeping the floor, cleaning the bathroom, reading to her sisters, helping to make dinner, and bossing her older brothers around just a bit more!  This is a part of growing up.  It comes when little girls are allowed to do womanly things....like housekeeping and taking care of younger children.  Growing up isn't about being able to watch certain movies, wearing make up, or staying up later.  It's learning to do adult things, under a loving parent's care and supervision, where real world responsibility can be learned.  Then the privileges of being a responsible teenager or adult will come...things like staying up later, etc.  That's the reward!  The reverse is a privileged child/adult with no sense of responsibility.

Well, my newly accomplished Kara wanted to do some more sewing this weekend.  A skirt sounded like something she could do, and we could finish in an afternoon.

We traced the pattern so she could use it again when she's the bigger size.

She cut out the pattern.

Charlotte "read" to Clare while Kara and I worked!

Kara pinned her pattern to the fabric she selected.

This part wasn't so easy....cutting in a straight line!  I had to help with that!

Pinning the right sides together.

Sewing the seam on her machine.

Checking the instructions in her book "Sewing School".  It had the pattern for this cute A-line skirt!

Trying to get that elastic through the waistband!  She needed a little help with that, too!

Finishing up with the hem.  Need to practice sewing straight lines, too!

Ready to wear to church on Sunday!  Kara is already begging to make more skirts and some for her sisters!  Kara is blooming and this Mama couldn't be happier!

Be Not Afraid!

Be Not Afraid!  What is the fear that women have with wearing modest dress in today's society?

Line up Madonna, Lady Gaga, and Mother Teresa....which one would you trust with your children?  Which one do you respect the most?  Why?  It's not just the way someone is dressed...that would be superficial... but we know, from our human experience, that the way someone dresses reflects their character and often their beliefs.  When you see a Catholic nun or a priest...well, you don't even have to ask!  A President looks Presidential.  And so on down the list we could go.

A virtuous woman should look virtuous.  By dressing otherwise, what are you trying to say...or, in some cases, show and why?

Genesis 35:2 "So Jacob told his household and all who were with him: 'Get rid of the foreign gods among you; then purify yourselves and change your clothes.' "

A change in heart can, in some instances, require a change in outward dress.

The Catholic Catechism states this on modesty: 2522 "Modesty is decency.  It inspires one's choice of clothing."

So what does this mean for today's woman?  How am I dressing?  Am I drawing attention to myself or parts of my body in a way that could lead another to sin?  Am I spending more than a reasonable amount of money on my clothing?  Clothing is a necessity but should not become a status symbol.  Do I have too many clothes?  Maybe someone else could benefit from my excess.  Why do I feel I need to look a certain way?  Whom am I trying to please?

I've heard people use the argument, "Doesn't God love me just the way I am?  What does it matter what I wear?"  Yes, it's true.  God loves all mankind.  We are His greatest creation.  But when we come to Him with contrite hearts, we become a new creation.  We turn from our old ways and habits, just like Jacob's household.  And our outer-self should reflect the inner heart.  One that is pure and seeks God's will and approval above all else.

So what do I do if my wardrobe currently consists of the latest and greatest...the best that the malls and internet have to offer.  Skinny jeans, short skirts, low-cut tops, see through clothing leaving nothing to the imagination.

You pray...God desires this type of communication with us.  We pray and we listen.  Pray about this issue of modesty in your life, and I guarantee God will respond!  You may feel led to small changes at first, or do what I did and get rid of everything and march down to the local thrift store for modest replacements!  We are each individuals and will respond differently.

Seek out a godly, Christian woman in whom you have observed true Christian modesty.  Don't be shy to ask for her wise counsel and prayer.  A woman who is living a virtuous life is more than happy to share her wisdom with others.

For many women, sewing garments for their families is a way to completely avoid the worldliness of fashion. And the work involved is offered up as a sacrifice to the Lord and for her family.

Don't know anything about sewing?  Well, it's never too late to learn!  I find it to be an enjoying and relaxing hobby.  And what better hobby than one that can benefit your family in this way!  Be creative, learn a new skill, teach your daughters, have fun with it!

Meditate on Scripture.  Proverbs 31:10-31 is a great place to start.  Don't compare yourself negatively to this ideal woman, but, rather, ask God where He can help you change.  Be the best woman you can be for the Lord and, in turn, you will reflect Him to your family and society.

Take these one step at a time, one prayer at a time.  Change will come and lasting change will come to those who commit this area of their lives to the Lord on a daily basis and continually seek Him.

God Bless you on your journey and Happy New Year!