Goodness,
it’s been two weeks since my last post!
But I’m a stay-at-home, homeschooling mom of seven…first things first!
I’ve
had in mind what I've wanted to write about for some time. The recent March for Life reminded me of my
own personal journey of becoming Pro-Life and open to life.
Growing
up in a strong Christian home, there was no question in my mind that abortion was
personally wrong, but it was there that I drew the line...it was a personal
opinion that I would not impose on others.
I was a teenager back in the 1980s, and, when we would discuss the
Pro-Life movement as a family, my father would always remind us that part of
the price of living in a free country is that some people are allowed to do
things that we don’t personally agree with.
So, I guess, I considered myself to be Pro-Choice…in the truest sense of
the word. It was simply that – a choice. I would never choose to have an abortion, but
I respected that some women would choose to do that. I can’t say though that I gave much thought
to what an abortion was; it was “just” the termination of a pregnancy in an
early stage…not yet a baby (in my mind at the time). You can tell how naive I was about the whole thing.
Fast
forward several years to 2002. My husband,
Michael, and I were engaged and sat down with the pastor of our church for
pre-marital counseling. One of the first
questions we were asked was what we were going to do for birth control. Michael and I had each been married
previously. I had, at the time, an eight
year old son, and Michael had a seven year old daughter and a ten year old son. So with that in mind, we decided that we
really didn’t need to have any more children, and Michael would have a
vasectomy. I was thirty years old and
Michael was thirty-three…we were getting kind of old anyway!
Okay now, no judging! I looked and thought a lot differently then! :o)
Michael
and I were married in May, and during the summer we scheduled his appointment
for September. But right before the
appointment (as in a day or two before!), we called to cancel. We had decided that we would like to have at
least one baby together. Anderson was
born in July of 2003. Holden came next
in October of 2004. Then Kara in
November of 2005! Whew!! I’d had enough! I talked with my doctor about getting my
tubes tied while I was in the hospital with Kara. But what happened next was truly God’s
intervention!
Holden and Anderson - Best Buds!
A
week before I had Kara, my doctor moved her offices to a new hospital that had
just opened. Brand new everything…state-of-the-art! St. Francis Hospital. I had no idea who St. Francis was; it was a
hospital and that was all that mattered to me.
But my doctor informed me that she could not do the tubal ligation at
St. Francis, because it was a Catholic hospital. She was not allowed to do any sterilization
procedures there. I would have to
schedule something at a later date at a different hospital. Well, with six children to now take care of,
I had lost my window of opportunity!
At
this time, Michael and I were not opposed to the use of birth control within
the marriage, but the Pill never made me feel good, so that was why we had
looked at something permanent. I think I
also would have still considered myself Pro-Choice. All that being said, I still think it’s a
miracle that we had our first three after we got married! But now this silly Catholic hospital was
making things difficult for me. I mean,
I had just had three babies in three and half years; the last two being only
thirteen months apart! I needed a break!
In
the last part of 2006 we moved from Richmond, VA to Charlotte, NC. Long story short, but it was in Charlotte
that we met another family with lots of kids, they homeschooled like we did,
and had a strong faith in God. We
finally got together with them in April of 2007…I had just found out I was
expecting again. This family was also
Catholic…a big “no no” in my faith background! But they loved the Lord and lived a life that
showed it. In 2007, Michael and I began
to take steps to enter the Catholic Church.
A Church that teaches that the marriage bond should be open to life and
not interfered with. My marriage took on
more purpose as I became open to life.
My husband and I grew closer to one another as we saw our marriage as a
sacrament. Kimberly Hahn’s book Life Giving Love was also instrumental
in helping me understand these things.
I
also became more aware of the Catholic Church’s stance on abortion and birth
control. I realized it for what it
really was and was saddened that I had believed the lie for so long. Sometimes you ignore the truth because you’re
afraid of what might happen. I might
have too many children. I might become
Catholic. So on and so on.
But
now I had to really test my faith. No
more contraception. I would trust in
God, and I would be open to life!
Katherine was born in December of 2007.
By this time we had learned about Natural Family Planning (NFP). NFP is a way to chart a woman’s cycle and know
her fertile and infertile times. Many
women who want to become pregnant have actually used this method to achieve pregnancy. Other women have discovered illnesses that
had gone undetected. There are many benefits
to NFP, but a main one is that the husband and wife do it together. There are so many stories of how NFP has
saved marriages and brought the husband and wife closer together.
Katherine, Charlotte, & Kara - I love having little girls!
So
now what? Well, I’m not finished! Charlotte was born in October of 2009. I had a miscarriage in April 2010 while we
were traveling to visit family. We named
the baby Francis Grace, and she is buried in Fairfield, PA. Clare was born in April 2011. And Mary was born in September of 2012, after
our move to North Dakota.
Where we buried Francis Grace in Pennsylvania. It was terrible losing a baby for the first time. But Michael and I cooperated with God's plan for Francis Grace by being open to life. If we hadn't, then perhaps Francis Grace would never have existed, and in that case, that would have been the greatest tragedy of all. We gave Francis Grace life, which she now has forever in Heaven.
Kara and Clare. Kara loves "mothering" her younger sisters!
And Baby Mary!
Am
I Pro-Life now? The answer is a
resounding “YES”!! When I think of just
one of my kids never having existed….just because I didn’t feel like having
more…I literally feel sick inside. Too
many kids…never! I could fill pages of
how God has provided. As a woman, my
body was made to bear children. As a
married woman, it is God’s will that I have children. When you do God’s will, you will be blessed,
and God will make a way. And I
understand that some couples are not able to have children, and I know their
hearts ache. But God will provide ways
for you to share your motherhood…be open to what God would have you do with
your spiritual motherhood…something that I believe is given to all women.
I
know not everyone will agree with everything I’ve written here. I know Baptists and Presbyterians (among
others) who are strong in their faith and are wonderful Christians, but also
have made a personal decision to use birth control within their marriages. I completely understand….I’ve been
there! Some may question my decision to
become Catholic (and many have), but I can only tell you that it has transformed
my life and marriage, and I enjoy a deeper relationship with Christ that I
wouldn’t change for anything.
I’ll
end with a quote by one of my favorite authors Scott Hahn.
"So
when “the two become one” in the covenant of marriage, the “one” they become is
so real that nine months later they might have to give it a name! The child
embodies their covenant oneness."
